[Bill,
September 27, 2007]
English professor jobs
So I check out the Website for English professor jobs here, just to see what I'm missing.
Here's a typical ad:
East Southeast Bumfuck State Tech University, serving students who didn't get into their safe school, invites applications for tenure-track position for 2008-09 school year leading to the position of assistant professor of English.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The successful applicant will teach five sections of freshman composition. Publish frequently in peer-reviewed journals.
QUALIFICATIONS: Doctorate attained by August 2008 required for appointment at the assistant professor rank. At least 10 articles published in peer-reviewed journals. At last one book published by a major national publishing house — ideal. Commitment to diversity goals, especially Laotian and Chicana lesbian undocumented-immigrant fiction.
COMPENSATION: 10-month contract, mid-40s.
Review of applications will begin November 1 and continue until a suitable candidate is identified. Send vita, transcripts, and 3 letters of reference to yadda yadda yadda.
*****
Perhaps it's not clear, but there's about a million of these ads — the rampant credentialism, the insistence on research (in English! — You can find the books in the library. All the heavy lifting is done. The rest is BS and careerism.) You need a Ph.D. to teach freshmen comp? You need a Ph.D. to make less than the starting pay of a FedEx delivery driver (which at least is an honest job)?
*****
Here's my ad:
Tiny, irrelevant institution seeks warm body who can teach freshman comp to education-resistant, surly, clueless, horny, listless, doomed freshmen who are under the impression they are actually attending college.
Must be able to read without your lips moving, speak in a reasonably clear voice, and resist taking advantage of undergrads of the opposite sex. First reasonably qualified applicant will be hired.
Send vita to yadda yadda yadda.
NOTE: Candidates with English Ph.D.'s must write a 20-page essay explaining why pursuing a doctorate on spec with slim chances of employment demonstrates good judgment.
*****
Here's a typical ad:
East Southeast Bumfuck State Tech University, serving students who didn't get into their safe school, invites applications for tenure-track position for 2008-09 school year leading to the position of assistant professor of English.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The successful applicant will teach five sections of freshman composition. Publish frequently in peer-reviewed journals.
QUALIFICATIONS: Doctorate attained by August 2008 required for appointment at the assistant professor rank. At least 10 articles published in peer-reviewed journals. At last one book published by a major national publishing house — ideal. Commitment to diversity goals, especially Laotian and Chicana lesbian undocumented-immigrant fiction.
COMPENSATION: 10-month contract, mid-40s.
Review of applications will begin November 1 and continue until a suitable candidate is identified. Send vita, transcripts, and 3 letters of reference to yadda yadda yadda.
*****
Perhaps it's not clear, but there's about a million of these ads — the rampant credentialism, the insistence on research (in English! — You can find the books in the library. All the heavy lifting is done. The rest is BS and careerism.) You need a Ph.D. to teach freshmen comp? You need a Ph.D. to make less than the starting pay of a FedEx delivery driver (which at least is an honest job)?
*****
Here's my ad:
Tiny, irrelevant institution seeks warm body who can teach freshman comp to education-resistant, surly, clueless, horny, listless, doomed freshmen who are under the impression they are actually attending college.
Must be able to read without your lips moving, speak in a reasonably clear voice, and resist taking advantage of undergrads of the opposite sex. First reasonably qualified applicant will be hired.
Send vita to yadda yadda yadda.
NOTE: Candidates with English Ph.D.'s must write a 20-page essay explaining why pursuing a doctorate on spec with slim chances of employment demonstrates good judgment.
*****
Funny story: I was once at a conference where the former CEO of a major airline in the 70s described how FedEx started. The fleet was upgraded, and the airline had all these old 707s. The airline met and couldn't figure out what to do with them. One day, a guy offered to buy all the old ones. And that was the beginning of FedEx. The CEO was amused, rather than regretful, that he hadn't thought of hte idea.
Ok. wow.
But don't tell anyone, it'll offend their class sensibilities. Not there is class in this country. No sireee. Not at all. Uh-uh.
But yeah, there is a sense of class, but it's different than in most countries. There is class mobility, particularly in and out of the middle class. (I'm not talking about the Hamptons crowd, but who cares about them?) But many folks have a sense that some jobs are "beneath" them, and treat others accordingly. On the other hand, many others are simply grateful that there are individuals in this country who can actually use hand tools and fix things. I'm one of them.
The big advantage of white collar work used to be very practical -- you don't have to worry about your back giving out in your 40s. However, these days, things are changing so fast you do have to worry about your skill set going obsolete, or your job being offshored. Blue collar workers, on the other hand, already had most of their jobs offshored and outsourced a long time ago. There are limits to it. You can't offshore your plumbers job.
Thanks again for your comments.