[Bill,
April 16, 2007]
Wrong Order
I never get the murder-suicide thing. If you're gonna kill yourself, why kill someone else first? I mean, you're gonna be dead anyway. Why not kill yourself first, and then complain to God or the great abyss about your mistreatment?
Are there people I've wanted to kill? I think the answer is no. I don't think I've ever, with true sincerity of heart, wanted to erase someone's real existence. I've wanted them "dead" in a fantasy world inside my head, but in the real, blood-and-sinew world that we actually inhabit, no, I can't say I've really wanted someone dead.
I don't mean to pretend this is some kind of insight -- but perhaps killers are those who can't distinguish between the two. We can probably all recall cases where we tried to impose the world on our head onto actual reality and call that reality. Maybe they do that in a really pathological way.
I'm sure some do, in fact. But others, I suspect, are just stone-cold killers. They know what they're doing, and do it anyway.
I pray God will have mercy on all those who appear before Him this day, especially those who were surprised by death.
Are there people I've wanted to kill? I think the answer is no. I don't think I've ever, with true sincerity of heart, wanted to erase someone's real existence. I've wanted them "dead" in a fantasy world inside my head, but in the real, blood-and-sinew world that we actually inhabit, no, I can't say I've really wanted someone dead.
I don't mean to pretend this is some kind of insight -- but perhaps killers are those who can't distinguish between the two. We can probably all recall cases where we tried to impose the world on our head onto actual reality and call that reality. Maybe they do that in a really pathological way.
I'm sure some do, in fact. But others, I suspect, are just stone-cold killers. They know what they're doing, and do it anyway.
I pray God will have mercy on all those who appear before Him this day, especially those who were surprised by death.