10. Aliens will finally arrive, with great fanfare, on earth. After a thorough examination of our society, they will pronounce Islam the dumbest, most patently false, most obviously self-serving religion in the history of the universe.
Result: Nope. The only aliens were the kind called in PC terms, "Undocumented workers". No one said anything bad about Islam. Score 0-1.
9. The Democrats will win the midterm 2006 elections by keeping quiet, flying under the radar, and allowing the GOP to self-destruct.
Result: Yup. Pretty much exactly what happened. The Democrats simply shut up and played their guitar, and won. Score 1-1.
8. Andrew Sullivan will be miraculously healed of his homosexuality, and, in the confusion of his new heterosexuality, will propose to the first woman who sleeps with him. It'll be Maureen Dowd. She'll turn the proposal down.
Result: Nope. Andrew's still an unrepentant, practicing queen, and no one proposed to Maureen Dowd. Score 1-2.
7. The Palestinians will announce free elections, elect moderate politicians, and seek accommodation and peace with Israel. "Terrorism is so 2001," one Hamas official will say.
Result: Nope. Some moderate stuff happened, though. And then there was a war. Score 1-3.
6. The New York Jets will get Reggie Bush, somehow, and be on track by year's end to make the playoffs. The Iggles will rebuild. The Cowboys will move to LA. The Houston Texans will improve. New Orleans will still be underwater.
Result: Close. The Jets and Eagles have had surprisingly good seasons, and both are on track to make the playoffs. The Houston Texans have improved. New Orleans is NOT underwater. Reggie Bush went to the Saints. Let's call it a tie. Score 1-3-1.
5. Jenna Jameson will show up at my front porch, having given up her career and converted to Roman Catholicism, and announce she wants to settle down and begin a serious relationship. With me. I'll say, "Friends first."
Result: Yes, this happened exactly as I said, and I reacted exactly as I said I would, and never posted about it or told anyone about it. Score 1-4-1.
4. A confession will be found in Mecca written by Mohammed, in which he declares he made the Koran up to justify doing whatever he wanted to do at the time. The body of Jesus of Nazareth will be found in a well-marked grave in Jerusalem. The Ark of the Covenant will be found, and it will turn out that there was an asterick after the first, fourth, sixth and seventh commandments. After the asterick on the bottom of the tablet, it said, "Just kidding. Actually, I liked the Egyptians better."
Result: Nope, but aren't you glad this did happen? Score 1-5-1.
3. People will start throwing away their cell phones, declaring, "They're just too rude." Many people will start walking everywhere. Time Magazine will proclaim a trend in a cover story, "The New Walking." No one will notice.
Result: Well, people do throw away cell phones and others have started walking. Let's give me this one. Score: 2-5-1.
2. Somewhere in the world, a woman will spontaneously and without prodding apologize for wrongdoing against a man.
Result: I'm sure it happened. Score 3-5-1.
1. IndustrialBlog will finally get linked by Instapundit. I won't post for three weeks afterward, until the instalanche is gone.
Result: Nope. Instapundit ignored me all year. What a poopyhead. Final score: 3-6-1! Not bad, eh?
IndustrialBlog: Where you find things out first.