Bill's Notes

[Industrialblog, December 15, 2006]
The trick is to keep thinking
She seems normal and confident. Knows exactly what she wants. Has herself together. Admirable. High achiever. Coped with her demons. Did her AA. Did her therapy. Praying daily. Sincere in her prayer. Joyful in her prayer. Authentically grateful at the second chance. Putting her life together. Missing a piece. So, praying for a husband. Praying for the husband she hasn't met yet.

All seems fine.

She develops a three-month email relationship with a guy living in England. She falls in love over the Internet. He falls in love over the Internet. He flies in to meet her for the first time. He proposes right there in the airport. She accepts. They spend a few weeks together. They marry. That brings us up to the present.

God's beautifully answered prayer in putting soul mates together across the seas? Happily ever after? A thrilling, romantic story?

Or is it stark, staring mad?

I'm always wrong about stuff like this.

You tell me.
Mike_lafferty (mail):
My GF's father gets into situations like that.

I say "situations" because he falls deeply in love quickly - and often. He usually proposes within the first 2 months - so proposing at the airport would have been fast even for him.
He's been married 7 times so far - going on 8. Or, at least, trying really hard to go on 8.

He asked the GF for relationship advice recently - I suggested she tell him:"Lie liberally about your past."

If I take off my cynic's hat - eh, miracles happen everyday - and making a decision to honestly try your hardest to make things work counts for a lot.
12.15.2006 10:04am
Bill (mail) (www):
I'm trying to take off my cynic's hat, too. Once prayer is involved, you never know. I'm rooting for "happily ever after". And as you said, a lot depends on decisions to make it work.
12.15.2006 10:11am
Chris (mail) (www):
Everything depends on the decision and will to make it work. Assuming you don't have any fundamental incompatibilities ("one's a catholic, the other a satanist"), marriage working out depends on both people being determined to be good to each other, and on very little else.
12.15.2006 10:42am
caltechgirl (mail) (www):
who's to say? Only time will tell. But prayer is like that. The right answer comes out of nowhere when you least expect it. SO I'll be optimistic.
12.15.2006 1:01pm
Super G (www):
Watch and wait.

Based on my life experience, I wouldn't use up too much emotional energy on this individual if things come crashing down.

Help how you can - of course.
12.15.2006 2:07pm
Bill (mail) (www):
I'm only tangentially related to the situation ... but I'll offer up my prayers, FWIW.
12.15.2006 2:11pm
TWS (mail) (www):
I've seen it work, but it looks as sane as a fish in a privet hedge.

But I am reminded of the statistics on employees, and how many new employees are seen as a success a year or two after they get hired. ...statistics that indicate that after the basic requirements are met, one almost might as well 'roll dice' to determine if someone gets hired.

So if we are that bad at making 'cool and calculated' employee decisions, maybe we shouldn't worry about these 'internet love' stories. They have to be better, or at least more intentional, than rolling dice, no?

Peace,
TWS
12.18.2006 8:48am