[Industrialblog,
September 14, 2006]
'And die behind the wheel'
Believe it or not, I was in a fraternity in college. In fact, I was pledgemaster for a year. Most of that time I barely remember, lost to the mists of time and a general alcoholic haze. It was a weird time. Most of what stands out was a pledge named Percy.
He was giving me a hard time, showing me a lot of disrespect ... and I'd had enough experience at that point to know that escalating was going to cause me problems, not him. I am who I am, and some people will take shit from other people that they won't tolerate from me. That's all there is to it. Short of alpha-rolling him -- which I might not be able to do -- there was nothing I could do with this guy. But I couldn't let him undermine my authority as pledgemaster.
So one night, acting intuitively, I took him out for some private hazing in front of the science building. But I reversed things. It was a freezing December night, and he was out in a t-shirt. I gave him my winter coat. I didn't ask him to do pushups; I did them. I explained that I wasn't asking him to do anything that I wouldn't do myself, and that I'd prove it. Here I was, out in the freezing weather, giving him my coat, doing the pushups, so he'd know that. I explained to him what the fraternity was about, friendship at its core, and a kind of initiation, and that I was not trying to humiliate him or degrade him. Did he understand?
He looked really uncomfortable. He knew mind games, and that's why he was so good at pledging -- he'd take our mind games and fold them back on us. He knew when to keep quiet and when he could get away with telling me to fuck off. We sent him into the city to get a few pictures -- he led a crew out all night and got an album full of photos, including a photo of all the pledges surrounding a real, New York bum, passed out on the sidewalk. Every pledge acted like he was passed out around the bum, except for Percy, who was grinning in the middle of the photo, as if to say, is that all you got? He knew he was willing to go way further than we were, and that the joke was on us.
But that one night he didn't know if this was mind game or if it was real ... and when he realized that I was being real with him, then, that was different. Being real made him uncomfortable. The disrespect stopped after that. But of course Percy kept being Percy, except he no longer gave me problems. After going through all the shit of pledging, he didn't bother to show up for hell night. There were various rumors, but the reasons were never made clear. He never became a brother. Less than a year later, he died under even more mysterious circumstances, behind the wheel, possibly drug-related, but who knows? As I said, he was willing to go further than we were. Some of us sing, "Hope I die before I get old" and we're just fronting. Others, they aren't playing.
Got an email from the current brothers yesterday, and that's what dredged up these memories.
That's all. Have a good one.
He was giving me a hard time, showing me a lot of disrespect ... and I'd had enough experience at that point to know that escalating was going to cause me problems, not him. I am who I am, and some people will take shit from other people that they won't tolerate from me. That's all there is to it. Short of alpha-rolling him -- which I might not be able to do -- there was nothing I could do with this guy. But I couldn't let him undermine my authority as pledgemaster.
So one night, acting intuitively, I took him out for some private hazing in front of the science building. But I reversed things. It was a freezing December night, and he was out in a t-shirt. I gave him my winter coat. I didn't ask him to do pushups; I did them. I explained that I wasn't asking him to do anything that I wouldn't do myself, and that I'd prove it. Here I was, out in the freezing weather, giving him my coat, doing the pushups, so he'd know that. I explained to him what the fraternity was about, friendship at its core, and a kind of initiation, and that I was not trying to humiliate him or degrade him. Did he understand?
He looked really uncomfortable. He knew mind games, and that's why he was so good at pledging -- he'd take our mind games and fold them back on us. He knew when to keep quiet and when he could get away with telling me to fuck off. We sent him into the city to get a few pictures -- he led a crew out all night and got an album full of photos, including a photo of all the pledges surrounding a real, New York bum, passed out on the sidewalk. Every pledge acted like he was passed out around the bum, except for Percy, who was grinning in the middle of the photo, as if to say, is that all you got? He knew he was willing to go way further than we were, and that the joke was on us.
But that one night he didn't know if this was mind game or if it was real ... and when he realized that I was being real with him, then, that was different. Being real made him uncomfortable. The disrespect stopped after that. But of course Percy kept being Percy, except he no longer gave me problems. After going through all the shit of pledging, he didn't bother to show up for hell night. There were various rumors, but the reasons were never made clear. He never became a brother. Less than a year later, he died under even more mysterious circumstances, behind the wheel, possibly drug-related, but who knows? As I said, he was willing to go further than we were. Some of us sing, "Hope I die before I get old" and we're just fronting. Others, they aren't playing.
Got an email from the current brothers yesterday, and that's what dredged up these memories.
That's all. Have a good one.