Bad Cop accuses you. Good Cop doesn't disagree, but He's just nicer about it. Finally, the Good Cop offers to fix the rap for you. He's related to the judge (or is the judge), He tells you. The whole rap will go away if you'll just agree to allow the Good Cop to adopt you as His child because this is a family operation, and family gets off scot free. If you don't agree, Good Cop turns you over to Bad Cop, and you can just go on being an orphan. And do your time. All of it.
I'm okay with the first part, being adopted and all. That sounds nice and pleasant. I'm even okay with being accused of my sins and knowing that I'll be found guilty. It's the presence of Bad Cop who bothers me. I mean, there's more than an implied threat there!
Plus, it seems that the essential aspect of the universe and the fundamental reality of existence should be ... I dunno, a little bit more beautiful than a fancy game of Good Cop/Bad Cop.