[Bill,
July 20, 2011]
Multiple Choice Questions
Recently I was asked why, if I have such a high IQ, do I struggle to make decisions. I explained that I don't know if I am a smart person, but that I am very good at multiple choice questions.
You see, multiple choice questions involve choosing among four or five alternatives, and one of them is the correct answer. That means, unlike in life, there IS a correct answer, which I truly like. Then it's just a matter of figuring out which one.
But life isn't like that. If we changed a multiple-choice test to correspond with life, it would look like something like this:
1. It is the World Series. The New York Yankees are playing the Los Angeles Dodgers. You live in Texas, but your family is from Queens, and some of your family moved to Anaheim. Who do you root for?
A. The NY Yankees.
B. The LA Dodgers.
C. Aren't the Cowboys playing this weekend?
D. I think I'll have a cookie.
2. My girlfriend is starting to act capricious and get snide toward me. I have been taking little initiative in our dating lately, but have been otherwise good to her. She admits that I've been good but that only makes her more angry at me. What should I do?
A. Talk to her about your feelings and ask her about the sources of her feelings and see if you can come up with a plan to both get your emotional needs met.
B. Tell the bitch to shut up and make you a sandwich.
C. Tell her she's being very naughty, and if she keeps up the capricious attitude, she's in for a spanking.
D. Surreptitiously find out when she doesn't have something planned, and then surprise her with a carefree day trip where you take care of all the details.
E. Whine about her capriciousness and tell her if she doesn't knock it off, you're going to ... well you don't know what.
F. Nothing. Just stew.
G. Cheat.
3. I've always wanted to travel. I love my hometown and want to grow old not far from where I was born.
A. Go away to college, maybe travel for a few months right after, and then head home and marry your high school sweetheart.
B. Commute to college; once you go too far away, you may never come home.
C. Marry your high school sweetheart and work out your travel plans together, on vacations.
D. Plans, schmans — life's gonna get you no matter where you go.
4. I wonder sometimes about the mysteries of the universe, creation, God, and the like. I also like to read, sing, hang out with happy people, and light candles. How best should I worship the Lord?
A. Become Jewish, follow the law, and pray the ancient prayers in Hebrew.
B. Become Catholic, enjoying the rich beauty of the Mass and liturgy.
C. Become evangelical and have barbecues!
D. Become Protestant and enjoy its rich tapestry.
E. Become Muslim.
F. Become Buddhist, Hindu ...
G. Become a Pagan.
5. I am suffering.
A. Join your sufferings to Christ's and glorify God.
B. Discover why you are suffering and what you can do to make it stop.
C. Ask your friends for help.
D. Numb the pain somehow .... divert your attention elsewhere.
E. The point of life is happiness and joy, so if you are suffering, you must get through this as quickly as possible to regain joy.
6. I have lost my job. I shall:
A. Blame my political opponents as this shows I was correct all along and I told you so.
B. Whine and collapse emotionally.
C. Take to a life of crime — hey, I tried to play by the rules, but look how that turned out.
D. Muddle through somehow.
E. Send out resumes.
F. Get new skills.
G. Network.
H. Start my own business.
I. Whine.
J. Start out with great energy, but become discouraged at rejection or pushback
K. No friggin idea. You got one?
**********************************
See what I mean? Life ain't multiple choice. But I wonder if we analyzed our dilemmas according to multiple choice, we might be able to do better at the right answers.
You see, multiple choice questions involve choosing among four or five alternatives, and one of them is the correct answer. That means, unlike in life, there IS a correct answer, which I truly like. Then it's just a matter of figuring out which one.
But life isn't like that. If we changed a multiple-choice test to correspond with life, it would look like something like this:
1. It is the World Series. The New York Yankees are playing the Los Angeles Dodgers. You live in Texas, but your family is from Queens, and some of your family moved to Anaheim. Who do you root for?
A. The NY Yankees.
B. The LA Dodgers.
C. Aren't the Cowboys playing this weekend?
D. I think I'll have a cookie.
2. My girlfriend is starting to act capricious and get snide toward me. I have been taking little initiative in our dating lately, but have been otherwise good to her. She admits that I've been good but that only makes her more angry at me. What should I do?
A. Talk to her about your feelings and ask her about the sources of her feelings and see if you can come up with a plan to both get your emotional needs met.
B. Tell the bitch to shut up and make you a sandwich.
C. Tell her she's being very naughty, and if she keeps up the capricious attitude, she's in for a spanking.
D. Surreptitiously find out when she doesn't have something planned, and then surprise her with a carefree day trip where you take care of all the details.
E. Whine about her capriciousness and tell her if she doesn't knock it off, you're going to ... well you don't know what.
F. Nothing. Just stew.
G. Cheat.
3. I've always wanted to travel. I love my hometown and want to grow old not far from where I was born.
A. Go away to college, maybe travel for a few months right after, and then head home and marry your high school sweetheart.
B. Commute to college; once you go too far away, you may never come home.
C. Marry your high school sweetheart and work out your travel plans together, on vacations.
D. Plans, schmans — life's gonna get you no matter where you go.
4. I wonder sometimes about the mysteries of the universe, creation, God, and the like. I also like to read, sing, hang out with happy people, and light candles. How best should I worship the Lord?
A. Become Jewish, follow the law, and pray the ancient prayers in Hebrew.
B. Become Catholic, enjoying the rich beauty of the Mass and liturgy.
C. Become evangelical and have barbecues!
D. Become Protestant and enjoy its rich tapestry.
E. Become Muslim.
F. Become Buddhist, Hindu ...
G. Become a Pagan.
5. I am suffering.
A. Join your sufferings to Christ's and glorify God.
B. Discover why you are suffering and what you can do to make it stop.
C. Ask your friends for help.
D. Numb the pain somehow .... divert your attention elsewhere.
E. The point of life is happiness and joy, so if you are suffering, you must get through this as quickly as possible to regain joy.
6. I have lost my job. I shall:
A. Blame my political opponents as this shows I was correct all along and I told you so.
B. Whine and collapse emotionally.
C. Take to a life of crime — hey, I tried to play by the rules, but look how that turned out.
D. Muddle through somehow.
E. Send out resumes.
F. Get new skills.
G. Network.
H. Start my own business.
I. Whine.
J. Start out with great energy, but become discouraged at rejection or pushback
K. No friggin idea. You got one?
**********************************
See what I mean? Life ain't multiple choice. But I wonder if we analyzed our dilemmas according to multiple choice, we might be able to do better at the right answers.
