[Bill,
April 12, 2008]
You don't *##$$%^(& say
Created by OnePlusYou
That's apparently lower than two-thirds of the Websites out there. Bill's Notes: Keeping it clean since 2003.
Created by OnePlusYou
That's apparently lower than two-thirds of the Websites out there. Bill's Notes: Keeping it clean since 2003.
[Bill,
April 11, 2008]
Obama = Stevenson?
Now, Adlai Stevenson was before my time. But maybe that's what were looking at in the fall -- old war hero v. effete egghead snob.
And the good news for us anti-Obama types is if he'd say something like that once, he's likely to say stupid things like that again. Because, ultimately, it's his mindset.
Democrats: Really, don't nominate this clown.
And the good news for us anti-Obama types is if he'd say something like that once, he's likely to say stupid things like that again. Because, ultimately, it's his mindset.
Democrats: Really, don't nominate this clown.
[Bill,
April 11, 2008]
Wow, Just Wow -- Breathtaking Condescension from Obama
Barack Obama shows he truly doesn't know what the lives of ordinary Americans are like. And now he's proved it:
Well, here's your campaign ad for the Fall. Just run that over and over again. You'll get the 15 percent of the country that actually believes something like that, and the rest will tell you to piss off.
Barack Obama -- officially a dickhead. You're not running for president of Harvard and those who wished they'd gone to Harvard, you know.
John McCain's campaign responds here:
But the truth is, is that, our challenge is to get people persuaded that we can make progress when there's not evidence of that in their daily lives. You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it's not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.
Well, here's your campaign ad for the Fall. Just run that over and over again. You'll get the 15 percent of the country that actually believes something like that, and the rest will tell you to piss off.
Barack Obama -- officially a dickhead. You're not running for president of Harvard and those who wished they'd gone to Harvard, you know.
John McCain's campaign responds here:
"It shows an elitism and condescension towards hardworking Americans that is nothing short of breathtaking," McCain spokeman Steve Schmidt said. "It is hard to imagine someone running for president who is more out of touch with average Americans."
[Bill,
April 10, 2008]
Yes! You can be more interesting -- without infamy or achievement
Let's face it: You're not as interesting as you could be. Ever killed anyone? Every made and blown a fortune? Ever get caught in a public scandal?
"No," you're probably saying, "and I'm glad about that." After all, you're probably proud of being a valuable and contributing member of society and being considered responsible, trustworthy, loyal, thrifty and happy.
Well guess what? Happiness is not interesting. Conflict is.
But that doesn't mean you are condemned to a lifetime of being boring, ignored and unnoticed just because you are a happy, well-adjusted person. No, you too can become the center of attention in short order and with minimal investment. Even better, you can do so without:
-- the misery of wretched excess
-- the infamy of committing evil acts, or
-- a breakthrough human achievement.
Three fresh ideas
Sound too good to be true? It's not. If you want to be the center of attention, the kind of person people point to, stare at, and whisper about, consider the following:
1. Provoke a fatwa. Nothing says interesting like having the Iman of the Saudi Arabian Royal Place or an Iranian Ayatollah declare you an apostate, a blasphemer, or an infidel worthy of immediate, bloody death.
Action step: Make a movie pointing out the ruthless excesses of Islam. Publicize it on YouTube or your favorite Internet Website. You may provoke riots and a Muslim cleric may write a public letter issuing a death sentence. Backup plan: It's not as glamorous, but the leaders of the largest cult in the world, Scientology, can issue an order declaring you "fair game." They'll harass you or try to sue you into non-existence. But either will make your life much more interesting, and worthy of discussion around the water cooler.
Trap to avoid: Some people think ridiculing Christianity, and especially Catholicism, is somehow interesting. Sorry, it's dullsville. Rome does not issue fatwas. Neither do the Baptists. Ditto the Mormons. You can't even get hauled before a decent inquisition these days.
2. Provoke a human rights complaint. Human Rights Commissions in Canada and New Mexico will actually investigate thought crimes.
Action step: Mention Richard Warman, an Ottawa attorney who has filed half of all human rights complaints in Canada. He is currently suing many Canadian bloggers — and that's interesting. You, on the other hand, have not been sued. Yawn! What are you waiting for?
Trap to avoid: Human Rights Commissions also handle cases about discrimination in housing and employment. Don't get haled before the HRC for these offenses. They are commonplace and boring, and people will not like you, besides.
3. Provoke the right kind of celebrity. It may seem unfair to the celebrity, but provoking one to anger or violence (captured on video, of course) against you is interesting and may even make the news.
Trap to avoid: Provoking the same old anger- or violence-prone celebrities, such as Sean Penn or Bill Clinton. No, the trick is to get Halle Berry or Bob Newhart to scream at you or throw a punch at you. That's interesting.
Action step:There's a fine line between finding the area of vulnerability, and, well, committing a crime. No, you need to find them at a public, irritable moment, and then do something highly offensive — but not something that will generate sympathy for them. Example: Become a waiter at their favorite restaurant and be really passive-aggressive (it gives you plausible deniability.)
The bottom line: You can do it!
These are far from the only action steps you can take. The key is to stir the pot and if possible, make the nightly news. Be creative — like the Georgia woman who left her fiancee and disappeared for several days. It made the news for a week! And remember to take video and pictures — news agencies love that.
The best part: There are plenty of ideas left. Go find them and have people dropping jaws, buying you drinks, and laughing with you — because you've now become the interesting person you always had inside you!
"No," you're probably saying, "and I'm glad about that." After all, you're probably proud of being a valuable and contributing member of society and being considered responsible, trustworthy, loyal, thrifty and happy.
Well guess what? Happiness is not interesting. Conflict is.
But that doesn't mean you are condemned to a lifetime of being boring, ignored and unnoticed just because you are a happy, well-adjusted person. No, you too can become the center of attention in short order and with minimal investment. Even better, you can do so without:
-- the misery of wretched excess
-- the infamy of committing evil acts, or
-- a breakthrough human achievement.
Three fresh ideas
Sound too good to be true? It's not. If you want to be the center of attention, the kind of person people point to, stare at, and whisper about, consider the following:
1. Provoke a fatwa. Nothing says interesting like having the Iman of the Saudi Arabian Royal Place or an Iranian Ayatollah declare you an apostate, a blasphemer, or an infidel worthy of immediate, bloody death.
Action step: Make a movie pointing out the ruthless excesses of Islam. Publicize it on YouTube or your favorite Internet Website. You may provoke riots and a Muslim cleric may write a public letter issuing a death sentence. Backup plan: It's not as glamorous, but the leaders of the largest cult in the world, Scientology, can issue an order declaring you "fair game." They'll harass you or try to sue you into non-existence. But either will make your life much more interesting, and worthy of discussion around the water cooler.
Trap to avoid: Some people think ridiculing Christianity, and especially Catholicism, is somehow interesting. Sorry, it's dullsville. Rome does not issue fatwas. Neither do the Baptists. Ditto the Mormons. You can't even get hauled before a decent inquisition these days.
2. Provoke a human rights complaint. Human Rights Commissions in Canada and New Mexico will actually investigate thought crimes.
Action step: Mention Richard Warman, an Ottawa attorney who has filed half of all human rights complaints in Canada. He is currently suing many Canadian bloggers — and that's interesting. You, on the other hand, have not been sued. Yawn! What are you waiting for?
Trap to avoid: Human Rights Commissions also handle cases about discrimination in housing and employment. Don't get haled before the HRC for these offenses. They are commonplace and boring, and people will not like you, besides.
3. Provoke the right kind of celebrity. It may seem unfair to the celebrity, but provoking one to anger or violence (captured on video, of course) against you is interesting and may even make the news.
Trap to avoid: Provoking the same old anger- or violence-prone celebrities, such as Sean Penn or Bill Clinton. No, the trick is to get Halle Berry or Bob Newhart to scream at you or throw a punch at you. That's interesting.
Action step:There's a fine line between finding the area of vulnerability, and, well, committing a crime. No, you need to find them at a public, irritable moment, and then do something highly offensive — but not something that will generate sympathy for them. Example: Become a waiter at their favorite restaurant and be really passive-aggressive (it gives you plausible deniability.)
The bottom line: You can do it!
These are far from the only action steps you can take. The key is to stir the pot and if possible, make the nightly news. Be creative — like the Georgia woman who left her fiancee and disappeared for several days. It made the news for a week! And remember to take video and pictures — news agencies love that.
The best part: There are plenty of ideas left. Go find them and have people dropping jaws, buying you drinks, and laughing with you — because you've now become the interesting person you always had inside you!
[Bill,
April 10, 2008]
Reader Survey
Bill's Notes seems to be running out of steam lately. I've felt it; and now former regular reader Jim has said as much. I'm probably in a lull — it happens, especially as I concentrate more on matters offline.
Anyway, I'd like to ask a few questions in order to provide a better writer's notebook experience for y'all:
1. What kind of posts do you prefer?
2. Is there any kind of post you usually skip?
3. Is there any kind of post that makes you think — shit, what am I doing on this Web page?
4. Is there any particular post that makes you think — now I'd like more of that.
5. Any other suggestions you might have.
Thank you in advance for any feedback.
The Management
UPDATE: The results are in. Everyone is perfectly happy with this blog, except for one reader thinks the 70s video posts are lame. However, drawing from this, I'm going to take the following action steps:
1. The headlines need to be sharper and promise more benefit to the reader.
2. The ledes need to demonstrate immediacy — I mean, why should you read this now?
3. More kickers, subheads and pull quotes.
4. 100 word sentences? That's not fast-read!
5. My product manager said I should also keep doing posts like the one that got linked by USA Today, and run all posts by him so that the marketing department can do a focus group on the relevance of any new topic I decide to write on.
*****
NOTE: Yes, this is all an in joke. Sorry to those of you who are puzzled.
Anyway, I'd like to ask a few questions in order to provide a better writer's notebook experience for y'all:
1. What kind of posts do you prefer?
2. Is there any kind of post you usually skip?
3. Is there any kind of post that makes you think — shit, what am I doing on this Web page?
4. Is there any particular post that makes you think — now I'd like more of that.
5. Any other suggestions you might have.
Thank you in advance for any feedback.
The Management
UPDATE: The results are in. Everyone is perfectly happy with this blog, except for one reader thinks the 70s video posts are lame. However, drawing from this, I'm going to take the following action steps:
1. The headlines need to be sharper and promise more benefit to the reader.
2. The ledes need to demonstrate immediacy — I mean, why should you read this now?
3. More kickers, subheads and pull quotes.
4. 100 word sentences? That's not fast-read!
5. My product manager said I should also keep doing posts like the one that got linked by USA Today, and run all posts by him so that the marketing department can do a focus group on the relevance of any new topic I decide to write on.
*****
NOTE: Yes, this is all an in joke. Sorry to those of you who are puzzled.
[Bill,
April 8, 2008]
In which I get sappy and sentimental and, well, 70s
For some reason, I'm all happy and in touch with my inner child today, and the little guy's remembering the stuff on AM radio while couped up in the back of the parents' 1966 Buick station wagon as my folks drove us kids around here and there. I still remember the license plate. LDP 445. That's noteworthy because I don't remember my current license plate.
Anyway, while I don't like pop, usually, I have a soft spot for certain sentimental, sappy stuff (alliteration unintentional, but I'm not re-writing it.) So I'm gonna go through some of it here. I make no warrantees or guarantees about the critical value of any of these songs — just I'm always happy when these songs occasionally make it on the radio.
In deference to reader feedback, I will list the artist and the song.
Three Degrees. "When Will I See You Again."
The Five Stairsteps. "Ooh Child (Things are Gonna Get Easier.)"
War. "Why Can't We Be Friends."
It was a simpler, more united time. Newark and Detroit were no longer smoldering, but barely. The burned-out buildings would stand in some cases for two decades. King and Kennedy were still a little warm in their graves. Whites were fleeing to the suburbs as fast as they could, to get away from corrupt big-city machines and, of course, rioting blacks. Students were burning ROTC buildings. The National Guard shot four students at Kent State, and my kindergarten teacher came in one day, shaken, and told us about it. Nixon's War dragged on and the body bags came home every week and parents talked about whose kid was graduating and might end up going, and whose kid wasn't. Yep, united times; not like the divisive times we live in now.
Yet, it seemed back then, even the crappy Top 40 music had its moments. Chaos begets something ...
Anyway, Looking Glass. "Brandi." Ignore the typos in this video. Beats looking at an album cover, right?
Three Dog Night. "Shambala." Freaky video.
And even though the single was released in 1969, the album didn't come out until 1970.
Fifth Dimension. "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In".
As goofy and dated as this video is, Marilyn McCoo could seriously shake her hips, couldn't she? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been allowed to stay up late and watch this on tv.
Skip forward a few years, Diana Ross. "Touch Me in the Morning." Which is dying for a sardonic remake. IJS. But here it be, in all its full sappiness.
That's my seven sappy sentimental Seventies songs. I think every one of them should be played once a year on oldies radio stations. Too much will ruin them. But every once in a while reminds you -- hey, I remember liking that song.
Blah blah blah. Good night!
Anyway, while I don't like pop, usually, I have a soft spot for certain sentimental, sappy stuff (alliteration unintentional, but I'm not re-writing it.) So I'm gonna go through some of it here. I make no warrantees or guarantees about the critical value of any of these songs — just I'm always happy when these songs occasionally make it on the radio.
In deference to reader feedback, I will list the artist and the song.
Three Degrees. "When Will I See You Again."
The Five Stairsteps. "Ooh Child (Things are Gonna Get Easier.)"
War. "Why Can't We Be Friends."
It was a simpler, more united time. Newark and Detroit were no longer smoldering, but barely. The burned-out buildings would stand in some cases for two decades. King and Kennedy were still a little warm in their graves. Whites were fleeing to the suburbs as fast as they could, to get away from corrupt big-city machines and, of course, rioting blacks. Students were burning ROTC buildings. The National Guard shot four students at Kent State, and my kindergarten teacher came in one day, shaken, and told us about it. Nixon's War dragged on and the body bags came home every week and parents talked about whose kid was graduating and might end up going, and whose kid wasn't. Yep, united times; not like the divisive times we live in now.
Yet, it seemed back then, even the crappy Top 40 music had its moments. Chaos begets something ...
Anyway, Looking Glass. "Brandi." Ignore the typos in this video. Beats looking at an album cover, right?
Three Dog Night. "Shambala." Freaky video.
And even though the single was released in 1969, the album didn't come out until 1970.
Fifth Dimension. "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In".
As goofy and dated as this video is, Marilyn McCoo could seriously shake her hips, couldn't she? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been allowed to stay up late and watch this on tv.
Skip forward a few years, Diana Ross. "Touch Me in the Morning." Which is dying for a sardonic remake. IJS. But here it be, in all its full sappiness.
That's my seven sappy sentimental Seventies songs. I think every one of them should be played once a year on oldies radio stations. Too much will ruin them. But every once in a while reminds you -- hey, I remember liking that song.
Blah blah blah. Good night!
[Bill,
April 7, 2008]
World today
Obama tripped and fell over Wright. Clinton has a chance, and she blew it by making up a bunch of stories. Still, she's still winning in Pennsylvania. Thing is, those stories just may mean she'll be toxic as a VP candidate, and thus not selected.
Meanwhile, the only good news on the Democratic side is they're running against the Republicans. GOP conservatives seem unsure if they want McCain to win, want to cut the rug out from under him, or, given what's happening on the Democratic side, actually try to win it in November.
In non-political news, I had a good weekend. A great birthday party (4th) for my God-daughter, who was wearing a beautiful princess-y dress and a tiara. And she had a bunch of young friends there, so they played all day.
The dogs, too, had a great time deciding who to play with first. And the food was of course excellent. The evening ended with a few folks sitting on a back deck having one of those fun, laid-back, free-range discussions. A great time was had by all.
Meanwhile, I had a lunch date on Sunday. I won't say anything about it, except to give it and her a thumbs-up. Now I need to think of something to do for a second date. It's supposed to rain this weekend. I had wanted to do something outside. I'm really eager for spring to begin because I am plenty sick of the cold.
Had quite an experience at Mass (before lunch, of course). Suddenly got the whole Jesus-as-God thing, but it's sort of fading away again. (That is, there's this mystical sense of, oh yeah, this is real, not just wishful thinking.) Anyway, praise God.
Today, my former assistant editor started her new job. Managed to get a job after only two weeks off, which practically counts as a vacation. If she's reading this, hope it went well. If not, I still hope it went well.
No other news to report. Have a good week!
Meanwhile, the only good news on the Democratic side is they're running against the Republicans. GOP conservatives seem unsure if they want McCain to win, want to cut the rug out from under him, or, given what's happening on the Democratic side, actually try to win it in November.
In non-political news, I had a good weekend. A great birthday party (4th) for my God-daughter, who was wearing a beautiful princess-y dress and a tiara. And she had a bunch of young friends there, so they played all day.
The dogs, too, had a great time deciding who to play with first. And the food was of course excellent. The evening ended with a few folks sitting on a back deck having one of those fun, laid-back, free-range discussions. A great time was had by all.
Meanwhile, I had a lunch date on Sunday. I won't say anything about it, except to give it and her a thumbs-up. Now I need to think of something to do for a second date. It's supposed to rain this weekend. I had wanted to do something outside. I'm really eager for spring to begin because I am plenty sick of the cold.
Had quite an experience at Mass (before lunch, of course). Suddenly got the whole Jesus-as-God thing, but it's sort of fading away again. (That is, there's this mystical sense of, oh yeah, this is real, not just wishful thinking.) Anyway, praise God.
Today, my former assistant editor started her new job. Managed to get a job after only two weeks off, which practically counts as a vacation. If she's reading this, hope it went well. If not, I still hope it went well.
No other news to report. Have a good week!