Bill's Notes

As a charter member of the Rebel Alliance of Yankee Haters I had to laugh at the below piece, which I found on the Website of Via Joe Katzman:

YANKfAN22 Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience.

Name: ___________yankfan22____________________

Address:______________________________

Who’s Your Daddy: ____________________

1. Please select your favorite recent Yankee new player acquisition:

[ } Roger Clemens $20 million, six wins, one groin pull

[ ] Alex Rodriquez $92 million, no title, Ha!

[ ] Derek Jeter $123 million since last won world series

[ ] Jason Giambi $91 million, no title, lots of roid sweat

[ ] Carl Pavano $27 million, five wins


2. Which of the following would you most like to see as the most played YES Network “Great Moments in Yankee History” film clip in 2008:

[ ] Rivera’s "shocking" blown save in Game 4, 2004

[ ] Rivera’s "shocking" blown save in Game 5, 2004

[ ] The awesome wild card clincher celebration

[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 1

[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 2

[ ] Jeter’s first GIDP (Ground into Double Play.)

[ ] Jeter’s second GIDP

[ ] Jeter’s third GIDP


3.. Please indicate the last book you read:

[ ] Someday, in my lifetime, the Yankees will get to the LCS

[ ] Suicide Hotline - It’s not just for Cubs’ fans anymore

[ ] The Heimlich Maneuver - What to do when choking


4. Which recent Yankees personnel move did you enjoy most:

[ ] Not winning the posting for Matsuzaka

[ ] Winning the posting for Kei Igawa


5. Which following designation best describes Derek Jeter’s performance in this year’s ALDS

[ ] Captain Intangibles

[ ] Captain GIDP

[ ] Captain & Tenille


6. Please choose your favorite movie:

[ ] Anger Management

[ ] Hunt for Red October

[ ] Damned Yankees

[ ] Still We Believe


7. Finish this sentence: “Alex Rodriquez is

a. overrated

b. overpaid

c. overdue

d. overly prissy

e. over


8. . Select the most vociferous, stupid, and annoying Yankee fan:

[ ] Washed up “comic” hack and Yanks personal ballwasher Billy Crystal

[ ] Front-running celebrity phony Jack Nicholson

[ ] Tim McCarver


9 . Are you ready to admit that :

a. Ted Williams was better than Joe DiMaggio?

b. Carlton Fisk was better than Thurman Munson?

c. Even Manny Ramirez is faster than Bernie Williams?

d. Reggie Jackson was a better outfielder than Matsui?

e. Derek Jeter has less range than a kumquat

f. No self-respecting parasite would invade Jason Giambi?


10. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply):

[ ] Alex Rodriquez is traded to the Yankees

[ ] Don Mattingly never wins a World Series

[ ] The Yankees let Clemens get away

[ ] The Yankees get Clemens back

[ ] Giambi’s steroid abuse causes his body to collapse like a screen door in a hurricane.

[ ] The bugs eat Joba


11 . Have you experienced any of the following after the embarrassing four game collapse? (Check all that apply)

[ ] Headache

[ ] Uncontrolled Anger

[ ] Heartache

[ ] Holes punched in doors or walls

[ ] Nausea

[ ] Smashed TV screens

[ ] Depression and Broken Dreams

[ ] Avoided Red Sox fans for days or weeks


Once you have completed this form, please forward it to Fenway Park. Then burn all your remaining Yankee clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Red Sox Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.

I hereby acknowledge that the real "curse" is being a Yankee Fan.

I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______
day of ________________, 200__

Get a Cash Advance

I'm a little shocked. I didn't realize that this was a see-spot-run blog.

And then one day you discover that cute little girl on the swim team and the sister of your friend grows up to be a critical-theory-spouting totalitarian.

But she still has the same cute smile.



Since about 1990, when I went to grad school, I've been fighting folks like these ... people who don't understand freedom of conscience, who don't understand the weak philosophical underpinnings of their totalitarian beliefs, people who believe that ideas are masks for power, people who don't understand the full implications of their attempts at thought control, people who attempt to silence others ...

And here I discover the person who is in charge of the University of Delaware residence-life indoctrination program is someone I knew. Oh well. The first victims of propaganda are the propagandists.

UPDATE: OK, a former RA comes to Kathy's defense here, saying others are more to blame than Kathy for the indoctrination program. His quote:

I also just wanted to ask that Reslife Director Kathleen Kerr be treated with respect in any justifiably outraged correspondence, as she is a really nice lady. Some of the others on the UD Reslife staff are more responsible for things going to far.

Another, meanwhile, notes Kathy was in charge. The quote:

Unlike Dan, I believe Ms. Kerr should be fired. Regardless of who really implemented this and how nice a lady she is, it happened while she was in charge. She either approved of it or lost control of her staff.

Noted.

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

I won the company NFL "suicide pool." Thanks to the San Diego Chargers for consistently losing games where they were heavily favored, and to the Steelers for beating the loathsome Baltimore Ravens.

If they win, I win. I'm just saying ...

Dude A: "So why don't you go find yourself a wife?"

Dude B: "I was going to. But instead I told my boss to cut my salary 50%, I gave away my house and half my stuff to the first ungrateful person I could find, and then kicked myself in the balls for an hour."

One guy: "I'm not worried about death. I'll probably come back as one of the stars in the sky."

Other guy: "I can see that. You are kind of gassy."

"And the serpent said to the woman: No, you shall not die the death. 5 For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened: and you shall be as Gods, knowing good and evil." (Gen. 3)

Go Steelers!

Trying to look world weary. I've seen it all, you know.



Catacombs in the depths of Paris. This not a picture of the skulls and bones, just the stones in the corridors leading to the boneyard. So what did you do for Halloween?



CK's best effort at a postcard-style picture. Pretty good, no?