Bill's Notes

So I check out the Website for English professor jobs here, just to see what I'm missing.

Here's a typical ad:

East Southeast Bumfuck State Tech University, serving students who didn't get into their safe school, invites applications for tenure-track position for 2008-09 school year leading to the position of assistant professor of English.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The successful applicant will teach five sections of freshman composition. Publish frequently in peer-reviewed journals.

QUALIFICATIONS: Doctorate attained by August 2008 required for appointment at the assistant professor rank. At least 10 articles published in peer-reviewed journals. At last one book published by a major national publishing house — ideal. Commitment to diversity goals, especially Laotian and Chicana lesbian undocumented-immigrant fiction.

COMPENSATION: 10-month contract, mid-40s.

Review of applications will begin November 1 and continue until a suitable candidate is identified. Send vita, transcripts, and 3 letters of reference to yadda yadda yadda.

*****

Perhaps it's not clear, but there's about a million of these ads — the rampant credentialism, the insistence on research (in English! — You can find the books in the library. All the heavy lifting is done. The rest is BS and careerism.) You need a Ph.D. to teach freshmen comp? You need a Ph.D. to make less than the starting pay of a FedEx delivery driver (which at least is an honest job)?

*****

Here's my ad:

Tiny, irrelevant institution seeks warm body who can teach freshman comp to education-resistant, surly, clueless, horny, listless, doomed freshmen who are under the impression they are actually attending college.

Must be able to read without your lips moving, speak in a reasonably clear voice, and resist taking advantage of undergrads of the opposite sex. First reasonably qualified applicant will be hired.

Send vita to yadda yadda yadda.

NOTE: Candidates with English Ph.D.'s must write a 20-page essay explaining why pursuing a doctorate on spec with slim chances of employment demonstrates good judgment.

*****

Um, I've been having a boatload of deja vu experiences in the past week. I recently bought a book called All Summer Long, which was written by a former Lavallette lifeguard named Gordon Hesse.

After reading the book, I began to experience deja vu that I'd already purchased and read the book once before. Then I emailed the author. After completing the email and sending it, I got the sense that I'd already sent Mr. Hesse the exact same e-mail. Then I got a response, and I had deja vu about his response, too — that I'd already gotten this response.

Now, it's extending to other things. I left a comment on Harry's blog and got the sense that I'd already left that comment before.

Does anyone know if frequent deja vu is something I should be worried about?

Holy s*** — I just got the sense I've asked this question before on my blog. But I can't seem to google it.

I've had some insomnia lately (worse ever, in fact). Could these be related?

Am I going mad? Or am I really repeating myself?

As some of you know, I'm pretty much a first-amendment absolutist when it comes to speech. (Not so much with moving images, but that's another story.)

My buddies on the right seem to be saying that the Iranian president shouldn't have been invited to Columbia, and then, after Columbia president Lee Bollinger ripped Mahmoud a few one, have temporized.

To my friends on the right: You were wrong. Admit it. Don't be a mirror image of the Left's proto-fascist techniques and deny other's the right to speak. Use good speech to counter bad speech. It's the American way.

Note: Bollinger's remarks are here.

NOTE 2: Temporized spelled correctly now.

UPDATE: Some good points in the comments. I now think it's not so much about free speech, but about the appropriateness of the invitation. I didn't really think this through before I wrote it. But that's what dialogue is for. Tks to the commenters.

The Red State Award for the Biggest, Brassest Balls in the U.S. on this date goes to Columbia President Lee Bollinger. The Columbia prez not only weathered scathing criticism for inviting the Iranian president to speak at Columbia, he gave Mahmoud a personal lesson in exactly what U.S.-style free speech means. Bollinger leveled a scathing indictment, and then dared the Iranian prez to answer, who mumbled something about Bollinger's being rude. Wow. Bollinger made me especially proud to be an American today. It's like, go ahead, talk -- and here's what WE have to say back.

One of the biggest surprises I got when I thumbed through the "sins" section of the Catholic Catechism about two years ago was there's a sin called detraction. This means passing along something disreputable, but true, about another person.

I was like ... um, I was a reporter, detraction was my job! And as a blogger, well, that meant I was doing it, without even getting paid.

It was really a surprise, since I thought you could say anything true and be safe. But no, that's not true. God requires charity in all things.

I wonder if I need to go through the archives and eliminate all the detraction. What do you think?

I have of course left The Episcopal Church, but that's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is about what's best for both sides.

And it's to go their separate ways. That's because I don't think the current conversations are doing any good. They're encouraging a lot of bad feelings on both sides, and frankly, tempting both sides in different ways. For one thing, both sides are tempted to be judgmental of the other, and it has created deep partisanship.

Not only that, but the so-called Orthodox-Liberal Split sets up a dynamic that encourages both sides to talk about the other side way too much. Like divorcing couples that yap about the alleged abusive spouse. I think it would be best for both sides to have their own churches, and not worry about the other side so much. Walk apart. Heal.

Not only that, without the partisanship, without the tension in this drama, both sides can more easily reassess what they believe, and make decisions, without feeling pressure or like they'd be knuckling under.

Plus, it's not good to be unevenly yolked. These two sides have little in common other than the same name. Why so difficult to say good-bye? Pretty easy — good-bye.