[Bill,
November 2, 2009]
Advice coming back to haunt me
My own words are coming back to haunt me. Over the years, so much advice has come out of my mouth. It was my job, after all, and I'd do it for free on off houses.
We all know it's easy to give advice. Applying it when a lot is on the line -- that's a different story. There's something at stake for me now. My lifestyle, my career, is on the line. And I have to admit, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of losing everything -- my loving girlfriend, and my house, career, sense of purpose, sense of accomplishment, pride in my work, hope for the future, my soul. Yes, I'm that afraid.
It's been so easy to give people advice:
Now I wish I'd shut the hell up and just held them in their suffering and said, "I'm here. I love you. I'll be with you in this. I will walk with you the whole way and back, if that's what it takes."
Because you know what? Most of us know what to do. It's doing it when something we value is at stake ... that's the hard part. And to do it when others are depending on you, when you just want to fold up and say fuck it, and you still go out there and do things you don't want to do, just because you have to. That's real courage.
I have to tell you -- if any of you have ever a brutal career-killing layoff, and you actually survived when what was at stake was not only you, but your spouse or your children or parents ... I have a lot of respect for you.
I mean, me? I'll survive. I may lose my lifestyle, my house, my pride, even my girlfriend, but no one is really counting on me. Yes, I worry what people will think, what they'll say, what they'll tell others ... there's Bill, got laid off in his mid-40s and never really recovered. Never got married, never had children, what a waste.
And a million other things that don't have anything to do with anything important.
So that's where I'm at.
We all know it's easy to give advice. Applying it when a lot is on the line -- that's a different story. There's something at stake for me now. My lifestyle, my career, is on the line. And I have to admit, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of losing everything -- my loving girlfriend, and my house, career, sense of purpose, sense of accomplishment, pride in my work, hope for the future, my soul. Yes, I'm that afraid.
It's been so easy to give people advice:
Don't look for a job. Look for an opportunity to help build someone's business and then you'll have a job.
Conquer fear first -- if you conquer your fear only by getting what you want, you'll always be afraid that if you lose what you got, you'll be afraid again.
The real money is in B2B sales.
There is value in suffering. We're here in this life to learn to love not only when it's easy, but when it's difficult, even difficult to the point of enduring the pain of the cross.
We are not going to be entirely pleased with God's decisions either in this world or the world to come. Part of learning to love God is learning to have faith in his choices, what he permits and what he doesn't, even if it's difficult.
You shoot ducks one at a time. Don't look at the whole flock -- pick out one duck and shoot that one.
Now I wish I'd shut the hell up and just held them in their suffering and said, "I'm here. I love you. I'll be with you in this. I will walk with you the whole way and back, if that's what it takes."
Because you know what? Most of us know what to do. It's doing it when something we value is at stake ... that's the hard part. And to do it when others are depending on you, when you just want to fold up and say fuck it, and you still go out there and do things you don't want to do, just because you have to. That's real courage.
I have to tell you -- if any of you have ever a brutal career-killing layoff, and you actually survived when what was at stake was not only you, but your spouse or your children or parents ... I have a lot of respect for you.
I mean, me? I'll survive. I may lose my lifestyle, my house, my pride, even my girlfriend, but no one is really counting on me. Yes, I worry what people will think, what they'll say, what they'll tell others ... there's Bill, got laid off in his mid-40s and never really recovered. Never got married, never had children, what a waste.
And a million other things that don't have anything to do with anything important.
So that's where I'm at.